Last week, Nancy shared with me what the Lord had shown her. She journals and scribes out the Scriptures. After sharing with me what she had to say I asked if she had written it down. She has. I added the verse addresses in her summary. This is what she wrote and she has permitted me to share it with you.
I am sitting in Rachael’s spacious hospital room surrounded by the sounds of monitor buzzers and beeps. My mind jumps back and forth between fear and worry. What is going to happen in the future? But things are calm and peaceful and I have been given what I need to do the work God has given me with Rachael for the day.
“Dear God, how did we get here? The circumstances that lead up to this are so bad” Then I remember God’s sovereignty, all things are filtered through his loving hands and He knows what is best for all of us in my little family, especially Rachael.
She had come so far, only one month of school to finish and she will have completed 2 years of Bible College. How many of us have done that? For a child that I never thought would read or live on her own, she has already done the impossible in my mind. Rachael’s life has already been a huge miracle. We had such great plans for the future. What are you doing God? I see no good in this!
But the scripture I copied today on a little 10X10 dry erase board kept staring me in the face all day –
“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. Proverbs 3:5
I desperately searched for some way to rest this in my mind.
Three hours had already passed with me sitting and holding Rachael’s hand gently talking to her about home and school coupled with periods of anxiously pacing back and forth at a feverish pace, just wanting to run away. I finally walked down to the lunchroom to eat my lunch. I sat alone, watching the different members of the staff come in and catch up on each others lives, carrying on with life as they consider usual. I was irritated by the television in the background showing some old daytime soap opera that has been around since I was a child. So there I sat, irritated, confused and angry. Then God started to speak to me.
“Nancy, you do not have to understand this. (Prov 3:5) Your lives are not your own, (1 Corin 6:19-20) they are Mine and I will do with them as I please. (Psalm 135:6) This is for My purpose and glory. (Romans 11:36) As far as you needing to understand what work I am doing through this, it is not My will that you need to know. Continue to trust that My work is being done. You and Rachael, my precious daughters are only asked to get through today. (Matt 6:34) Look what I have done for you. I have provided a facility near your home and your work with very competent staff and equipment. (Matt 6:33) The 12 hours of visiting time I’ve allowed gives you ample time to minister to her spiritual needs as well as giving you cart blanche in participating in her care. Little by little just like her healing, (Psalm 102:3) I will teach you to care for her and show you her needs in a far more detailed way than anyone can show you. (Exodus 35:35) Keep watching, hearing and working.
Remember, I’ve asked you to wait and
“… but those who wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
I am gaining strength! Thank you my faithful Lord Jesus